What a Time to Feel Self Conscious - The Natural Hair Ordeal

Since going natural I've paid more attention to my hair than I ever have before in my life. This means having standard days for co-washes, deep conditioning, etc. etc. Typically I co-wash on Tuesdays, and DC on Saturdays. This past saturday was no different. I jumped in the shower and co-washed my hair, then I jumped out, towel dried quickly, threw some DC on it, and contemplated about what to do next. I took a huge gulp as I realized what I was about to do. I decided to wear my natural hair in all of it's glory for the rest of the day, eep!

What you must realize is that the world has not seen my natural hair since, oh, I dunno, 2006? I never wear it out. Well, I have a few times, but very rarely, and never EVER to the mall! This is mainly due to the fact that I have not one clue what to do with my hair in it's natural state. I don't like twists, or knots, or any other braided up style. I want to be able to wear my hair with little product and just wildly tamed, if that makes sense. Plus I'm not the girl to spend a million dollars on hair products just to see if they work, so I don't have many products for styling my natural due. However, I started to twist my hair back so that I could throw on my wig and go when I took a look and thought hey, this is actually kind of cute! Maybe I should... ehhh, I don't know. Yes, I had a whole conversation with myself about whether or not I should leave my hair out.

The problem is, I have a big face and two chins. I'm so use to having long hair to make my face look less full, and my second chin slightly less noticeable. With my hair drawn up in tight coils, everything is there for the world to see. No hiding! But then I thought to myself "heeey, no hiding...that sounds really good!" So, I did it! I stepped outside with no one else's hair on my head except my own. Imagine that! I was so proud of myself, but then....

Everyone kept staring at me! W.T.F.! I was so self-conscious. I was like oh dear God, I look like a bald headed oompa loompah! I'm never doing this again! I walked into the mall and up to the Bobbi Brown/MAC counter to return a product when suddenly multiple women started coming up to me saying "your makeup is GORGEOUS!". Normally that would send me over the cloud, but I couldn't even concentrate on that. All I heard was "people aren't staring at you because of your hair". That's all that mattered to me. Wait, could India Arie possibly be right? Am I truly not my hair? For the first time in a long time, I got it, and I'm going to keep it. I am NOT my hair. I'm ok just the way I am.

Don't get it twisted though. I love my lace fronts. Lurve the versatility and I will rock them supremely for a very long time. However, now I feel much better about letting my hair be it's natural free self in public.

So, help me natural hair gurus. What products should I use to help my hair stay curly, not frizzy and poofy? I need some major natural hair care h.e.l.p. And don't send me a product that costs over $20 because I can promise you it's not for the kid ;~)

~HG