Monday, April 20, 2009

Trying Not to be That Bytch

I have a tendency to be a perfectionist, a stickler for things being done perfectly, and impatient with people who can't do that effectively. I hate to repeat myself, and I often think that others should just be able to "get-it" already! Ugh! I can be, a bitch. The good news is that I know this about myself, and as one of my 2009 goals I have been working on it daily...and tested on it twice as much. So Saturday being my bridal shower and all, was the perfect time to see just how far I've come.

I'm told that the Bride isn't suppose to have her hands in any of her bridal parties at all but ha! Have you met me? Well if not, please let me introduce myself. I'm that compulsive-sarcastic-gotta-control-every-dayum-thing-so-you-better-get-out-of-my-way-bytch, thank you very much! I did, however, stay out of, ohhhhhhh 75% of it, which should automatically earn me a goldstar, uh huh!

I also have a tendency to be picky about things, especially details. In my eyes, the bridal shower is just one step back from being the wedding when it comes to details, so I was freaking out about everything at first, instead of trusting the process. My bff is the exact opposite of me when it comes to likes and dislikes, so I was uber hyperventilating when it came to decor, favors, gifts, etc. In the same token, I was trying to coach myself on how to be a better friend, a better human. We all make mistakes. Everything doesn't have to be perfect, there will be mistakes, it's ok.

Do you know how long it took me to practice saying that and to actually make it apart of who I am???

By the time Saturday came around, I knew that some things wouldn't go right, and I decided I was going to have a good time no matter what. Who cares that the dress I ordered looked a hot mess on my body hugging in all the wrong places, hitting too low on my calves? Who cares that I wasn't able to get a pedicure so I was going to have to wear my 5 inch 2 hour Guess heels instead of my 3 inch 5 hour sandles? So what if I only had 15 minuts to get my makeup look together, and no time at all to practice exactly what I wanted to do during the week? Because honestly, in the end? it was PERFECT!

I realized that the only people that would know if something was off, or wrong, or didn't make an appearance were myself and my bridal party. No one else had a clue that there was suppose to be a cd of music playing in the background, or other small things. Everyone had a fantabulous! They broke bread together, laughed, told stories, played games they lost horribly at, and showered me with lingerie, love, friendship, and support. They raved about the gorgeous cake my BFF took so much time and delicate balance to bring to the shower. They complimented me, and said it was a shower filled with style and love. Seriously, what more could I ask for?

I was loved. I am loved. And I am thankful. I owe so much to my BFF who put her heart, and hard earned money into the shower. I owe my heart to my family and friends for supporting me, even knowing that I am that bytch, and that "that bytch" could possibly make an appearance on Saturday. She did, for all of 2 minutes. Then I shut her arse out and told her to shut up and sit down because she was not about to interrupt the love fest that was going on! Because that bytch loves to leave herself alienated, but that's not who I want to be this year. This year, I want to wrap myself up in love. I want to compliment where I use to critique. I want to hold a hand where I would usually scowl. I want to open myself up to the possibilities that are out there when you stop taking things, especially those things that are beyond your control, seriously, and just lay back and have fun!

I had fun. That bytch is well on her way to being dead.