Saturday, September 5, 2009

Out.of.Control - Battling Weightloss

Since the age of 10, when puberty really hit and I got that monthly mother nature disturbance, I have battled weight loss. It's never been so hard, however, as it has been in the last 3 years. To say that my weight has been a roller coaster ride is and understatement. However, I can be proud that I have lost 35 pounds since January, and managed to somehow keep it off. That alone is a miracle since that has always been my struggle. However, I have sat idly by watching my continual struggle to not drop the ball again since my wedding. On the honeymoon I ate far more than I care to admit, but hey, it's your honeymoon, you're suppose to go balls to the wall with everything right? Well, I may not eat quite as much now, but I'm choosing all the wrong foods.

I love to watch the show Ruby on the Style channel. Seeing her success and struggles with weight loss is so eye-opening and refreshing.Today I watched two episodes where she gained weight back, and is really struggling to stay focus and on track. That's me. I'm totally off track and I keep gravitating to the wrong things. I had a good cry watching Ruby today because I saw me in her. Ruby has gone from 700+ lbs to 350 and that is awesome, awesome, awesome. But we all plateau and hit a wall eventually, and have to find a way to get through it. I have not seen the weight I am aiming for just in the next month since I was in college. I'm just 7lbs away from it, and have been 7lbs away from it for the past 4 months. It should be so easy, but yet there it is staring me in my face, taunting me, telling me how I'm never gonna get there.

But I have to.

I have to do this for my health. The worse things in the world have run through my family bloodline and I refuse to get any of them. I am determined to live a long, healthy life, using up every bit of creativity and love that God has given me. So, I came up with a plan.

My fridge is lacking all the things I need in order to make this journey a successful one for me, so grocery shopping is in order. I use to have veggies with every meal making eggs with spinach and onions and a little cheese, and a small fruit salad for breakfast. Yogurt parfait for a snack. Collard greens and a meat for lunch. You get my drift. I'm jumping back on that. If I wanted fried chicken? I made the best oven-fried chicken in the world! Ask me if there is any chicken in my fridge right now...NOPE! So I ordered some from the carryout on the corner. Ugh, see what I mean. So, I'm making a commitment, starting tomorrow (since this day has already been a wash) to treat my temple the way God intended for me to. This is a new beginning and I am on my way to losing 30 more pounds by 1/1/10. I can do it! Hubby is on board to help me do it. He is going to help train me, and workout with me starting next Monday. I've got to do better! That's not optional. I'm trying to save my own life here.