Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A Change Gon' Come

There been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
~Sam Cooke
I could feel it in the air. It was like something switched, and in September my faith grew stronger.

As of November 12, 2009 I became deeply apart of the chronically unemployed statistics. Being unemployed is completely life changing, not just monetarily either. It changed the way I saw myself. My self esteem dipped, and the bubbly person that I was went into hiding. Mainly that was because I didn't know how I was going to pay the bills next month, or the month after that, but I held on to my faith.

And then there's makeup. GOD, makeup is such a huge part of my life. It's my craft, it's my addiction, it's my sunshiney place when everything else seems dim and dismal...But I could no longer afford it. Because I could no longer afford it, I could no longer go out on makeup jobs because I couldn't afford to buy the palettes I so desperately need, or the money it costs to get from point a to point b. That could've been depressing, but again, I held on to my faith. I reminded myself that this was just a road I had to travel and one day I will be able to afford to buy more makeup than should be legal!

I started to lose myself some days. I would wake up and wonder hello, is this really me, is this who I am? Days would go buy where I wouldn't run a comb through my hair or put on a touch of makeup. My husbands lucky that i showered! With no place to go and nothing to do, all of that kind of seems pointless. I'm the girl that likes to go out to happy hour, or to the movies with a friend just because it's wednesday. I like to go buy accessories, and plan weekend getaways. All of that stopped. That part of my life was put on pause, and that part of me paused with it. I became this very mundane person, completely uninteresting without much to say because I didn't do anything.

Then a couple of weeks ago I saw a light at the end of a long, dark, creepy, tunnel. My friend Nikki alerted me to the fact that her job was hiring for a myriad of positions about a month ago. I gave her my resume to forward, but heard nothing. Then two weeks ago they called and I got my hopes up. They did a preliminary interview, then invited me in for an interview. Great! I went in, nervous because I hadn't interviewed for anything in a year, but determined to get this job! So I walk in with as much confidence as I can muster's busted!! They had me take a data entry test and a microsoft office test. Let me say that I am a visual person. I need images, pictures, something! Can I just tell you how they had the nerve not to have one single picture with the program??? Just gonna ask me situational microsoft issues, and have me pick an answer from multiple choice. I looked very much so like my cat at this point. Ears going forward, then out to the sides, then one ear going back while the other was going forward. Can we say confuzzled? I laughed at that test. I just started guessing and picking C a lot.

Next up was the interview. I interviewed with 3 ladies, and I could tell that one of them didn't really care for me. She wasn't mean, or nasty, just had that oh no, not you, not my department! look. Ok, fine, whatever, I stumbled on one question, but kept it moving. Leaving the interview I felt ok. My mom asked me how it went, and I told her I thought it went ok, but you never know with these things. Then I im'd my bff because I was going into Chick-fil-a. Let me tell yu, this place was in Silver Spring, so I was uber excited! I always loved working there and it wuld be great to get back there. Anyway, I left and headed home.

4 days later, I got an email telling me that they had chosen someone else. Le sigh. Back to the drawing board.

So I was going about my business reaching out to as many businesses as I could when my phone rings. "Hello may I speak to..." "Heeeyyy Jennifer!!!" Isn't that shameful? I wanted that job so much I had already memorized the HR ladies name and voice! Anyway, she told me that they had another position become available and she thought about me. Squeeeeeeeeee!!!! Praise.God. Unfortunately we had to go through the same HR questions, but whatever, I was down. Then she invited me to come in that Thursday for the interview. This time, I had more confidence! I shook off the igginess that I felt the first time and rolled with it. I even paid more attention on the microsoft test, although nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, will ever stop me from being blown that they have no visuals on that thing! Do you know my friend had to retake that God awful test when THEY offered HER a promotion? I was like GTFOH! But I digress.

I walked into the interview room and who was in there but the same hiring manager that had interviewed me the first time. I mean, she knew who was coming, so that let me know that she didn't hate me. She must've liked me a little to take a second chance on me right? Anyway, she let me know that there would be someone else joining us. What do you know, it was one of the ladies that was at the first interview! Not the one that didn't like me though lol. Anyway, once again, the interview goes ok, but when Jennifer walked me out she asked me how it went, and I told her you never know! Dude, I hate that question! It's like, even when you think you did perfectly, you find out later that you sucked! So, whatever, anywho...

Friday morning came and so did a phone call..."we would like for interview for another position." Wait...what?......wait.......huh??? I just knew this was the phone call where they were going to say "we would like to offer you the position" but yeah, no, that wasn't it. Hmph. Bah hum bug. However, I didn't get too down because 1) They weren't gonna make me go in to interview me again; they were gonna interview me over the phone instead 2) That meant no testing and 3) That obviously meant that they wanted me, but were just trying to find the right fit for me. Love it! So that Monday while on my school's campus I scrambled to find a quiet room to do the interview in because as the day wore on, I kinda sorta maybe probably absolutely forgot about it. Don't wonder how, just go with it. So there were three of them on the phone, the questions were shorter, and it was over in 10 minutes *blink* *blink*. Hmmm, ok, sure...

Wednesday I got the call that they were going forward with checking my references, woohoo!!!!

That was a mess! One of my references didn't call them until MONDAY, another gave an excellent reference, and I had to scramble to find references I was still in contact with for them to call. It all worked out though because on Tuesday I got a call that said


As of Monday, November 23, 2009 I will be a working woman again. Praise Jesus! Can you believe I will be working in the very area I told God I would like to work in again? This is definitely a shout in praise to Jesus moment.

I would like to take this time out to say thank you. Thank you to my husband and parents for loving me and sustaining me through this crazy time! Your prayers and love have truly lifted me. Thank you to my friends for paying for me whenever we went out, and to the bff for being willing to buy your girl a lacefront wig because mine was super ragedy and just ugh! Hey, that's what friends are for lol. Thank you to my readers and internet friends for keeping me in your prayers. We've never met, but you thought about me enough to pray for me. That's love. I appreciate all of you and pray that I am able to pay you back 10 fold.